12 March 2010 note: If you were to talk to me today, you would never believe that I wrote this post. I chuckle as I read this now because I can't believe how much my thinking has changed over the past four years. Having lived in the US has (as I anticipated) given me a whole new perspective, and being away from Canada has allowed me to think a lot more about what I left behind, and consequently has given me a much deeper appreciation for my homeland. I almost feel like I should write a whole new post with my reflections now.

I have lived in the country of Canada for my entire twenty-three years of existence. I wanted to offer some reflections on what that has been like for me.

As a child, I remember liking Canada. I really didn't know anything else. My life was pretty centered in what went on my own life, and the realization that there was so much more to the world than the area I lived in did not really have an impact on me. I can remember at one point when I was maybe seven or eight, being somewhere watching fireworks on Canada Day (July 1), and feeling proud as the national anthem was being played.

As I grew older, my horizons expanded. I became more aware of what it meant to be one country in a world of hundreds of different one. Of course, my horizon did not expand too much farther, but became especially aware of our big, powerful neighbor to the south, the United States. It did not mean too much to me that they were there, except that they were another country that spoke the same language, had many similar elements culturally, especially in pop culture. I also knew that the two countries "fed" each other, so to speak, economically. We were each other's biggest importers and exporters.

I learned more about America as I grew older, and I liked it more and more. They had such a cool history that was so much more alive than here. And maybe part of it was influenced by the power they held in relation to any other country in the world. It was attractive. I especially loved the southern US, characterized in my mind by cool accents, warm weather, big 4x4 pickup trucks, and country music. For quite a while this occupied my mind. I was going to leave Canada and its worthless socialism, overtaxation, and useless universal healthcare system for the land of the free and the home of the brave.

I grew up. I matured and began to see things more as they are. I began to analyze my country for what it is worth. I started to piece things together and take stock in the place I lived in. I think the biggest issue that I have trouble with is the lack of a Canadian identity. There really is none. A political science professor I had a Redeemer would joke that to be Canadian meant to watch hockey games on CBC's Hockey Night in Canada while drinking Molson Canadian beer. It was meant as a joke, but I think there is some legitimacy to the statement.

One of the main things that contributes to the lack of national identity is the flood of immigrants we receive into this country every year, primarily from the Middle East and Asia. These folks come and weave themselves into the social fabric, but they do so by keeping their cultural identity intact. There is nothing "Canadian" about them. It is not uncommon to wander down a city street in a city like Toronto and perhaps not even hear a word of English, even though it is one of our official languages. A "melting pot" idea, such as accepted by convention in the United States, where upon immigrating to the country, one gradually molds themselves to the American mindset and way of life, is not in play here. We adopt what we call a "tossed salad", one where everyone can co-exist in their own cultural bubble. In my opinion, it is a system that does not work, and the multicultural idea that is characteristic of this country, is problematic at best.

That pride I felt at a young age for this country has diminished. I realize that this country falls short in many respects. The old "it's always greener on the other side" is hard to ignore. It's easy to sit here, look out at the rest of the world and think how much better it would be to live here or there. It's a pipe dream, I know. But there are things in this country that I simply cannot accept. These include as I already mentioned a problematic notion of multiculturalism, as well as socialist-bent politics, and a rejection of anything religious (specifically Christian).

I realize my perception is limited. The three places I have lived in Canada are within roughly 200 kilometers of each other. It's not a far distance. This country extends something like 5000 kilometers from coast to coast. There is a lot of variation in that distance. I have virtually no experience with the West Coast, except several hours in a little town called Prince Rupert in the province of British Columbia. I have seen none of the praries. I have not been north of Sudbury, Ontario, and though I have travelled to the east coast, I was only 9 when we did it, so I don't remember much of it either. Bottom line: I don't feel as if I can make harsh judgments on a country that I have experienced so little of.

Next year I will be moving to the United States. Am I excited? Yes. Not because I am an American diehard, but because I will come into contact with a new perspective, and way of thinking. This is what I find the most valuable about living in different places, and why I would love to live all over the world if I had the chance.

I feel as if there is much, much more I could say on this topic, but I am tired of typing, so here I stop. Do I love Canada? No, love is too strong a word. Do I hate Canada? No, hate is also too strong a word. Leaving this country will not cause me to break into tears, and if I never were to return, I don't think it would bother me a whole lot. It's a big world. When I talk with others and they criticize Canada, there will likely be points I will agree with them, but there will also be times I disagree. I have lived a good life in this country, and I don't see why I should trade it for anything else. There is something I have tried to reject before, but I no longer do: I know now that wherever I go, growing up and living in Canada for 23 years will leave its lasting impact on me. There will likely always be something about me that is "Canadian". Does this bother me?

Not in the least.