We just returned yesterday from ten days on the road. We traveled over 3,100 miles of Interstate and 400-series highways, both urban and rural. Highway driving is relatively easy and enjoyable (at least for me). But in traveling so far, you do encounter a lot of different types of drivers. Obviously, not everyone fits into a certain category; most are good, courteous drivers. But not all—I spent part of the time behind the wheel coming up with seven categories of drivers who are particularly annoying (you have to pass the time somehow, especially when your wife is sleeping):

1. The Vacillator. This guy is usually found on the empty stretches of rural highway. He cannot, to save his life, maintain a steady speed. You will pass him, only to have him pass you again ten minutes later. This cycle will repeat itself until he either gets off the highway, or you pass him at a high rate of speed and continue on until you have put enough distance between him and you that he likely won’t pass you again.
2. The Aggressive Tailgater. There are two varieties of tailgaters. The first is the guy who feels as if he owns the left-hand lane and will remain within inches of your bumper until you let him by. He usually drives a large SUV. You will often encounter him when you are passing someone, and although you are nearly around the other vehicle, he will nevertheless ride your bumper until you are back in the right-hand lane. He will then pass you at a much higher rate of speed to emphasize his frustration with you obstructing his path and reassert his supposed ownership of the left-hand lane.
3. The Enigmatic Tailgater. This is the second type of tailgater. This is the guy who will just tailgate you for no reason. He will come up behind you, usually on an empty stretch of road, but instead of passing you, will suddenly decide he likes the speed you are going and will follow you. Only, he will do so with no more than a couple of feet in between his bumper and yours. This will conclude with him finally deciding he wants to pass you, whereupon he will do so at a rapid rate of speed, only to commence following the next car he happens upon.
4. The Charger. This guy is hybrid of 1 and 3. Usually he will have a number of passengers in the car, who get far more attention than his driving does. He will come charging up behind you and, suddenly noticing he is about to rear-end you, will hammer on the brakes until he is several car-lengths back again. His attention will then be given back to his passengers, coinciding with increased pressure on the accelerator, until his windshield is once again full of the back of your car.
5. The Left-Lane Hog. You will usually find this guy in the busiest parts of urban areas where he will doggedly hold his position driving in the left lane, come hell or high water. He is usually older and driving a Buick or Cadillac. Nothing can budge him; not tailgating, honking, or aggressively swerving around him. To further annoy highway travelers, he will drive at or slightly under the speed limit.
6. The Cruise-Controller. This is the guy who will use his cruise control all the time. This is fine in and of itself, but not when you are traveling at 70mph and he is going 70.5mph. Not wanting to upset his perfectly set cruising speed, he will refuse to tap on the accelerator to move on past you, and so will take about 10 minutes to get around your car. If you are the only two cars on an empty stretch of rural highway, this is slightly irritating though inconsequential. But when you are approaching other cars and want to pass them yourself, you either need to brake to let him pass or accelerate to get in front of him.
7. The Pass-Going-Uphill Trucker. Loaded semis are often the slowest vehicles on the highway, and it can be a bit annoying when they pass each other. But nothing compares to the idiot trucker who decides to pass another truck while going up a hill when a number of cars are quickly approaching in the left lane. The driver gets a bit of a run on the other semi while going down the preceding hill, but can’t maintain that speed when going up the next. You get stuck behind him as his speed continues to drop, and can only hope that the next stretch of downhill is long enough for him to get around the other truck.

While these are all traits of bad drivers, a number of them are simply a result of drivers not paying enough attention to what they're doing. Anything you would add to the list? Are there any other types of bad drivers that I missed?

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The bluetooth headset. Unless you're driving and in the car, take the thing out of your ear. Despite the marketers' ploy to make you think you look cool, you don't. Seriously. It looks stupid. Why do you need to walk around with a piece of plastic permanently affixed to your ear? It doesn't make me think you're any more important. In fact, I laugh at you when it looks like you're talking to the air. If you're using it in the car to keep your hands on the wheel, more power to you. But if you are anywhere besides the inside of your car, take the stupid thing off.

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Putting the jam on the bread first when making a peanut butter and jam sandwich. Why? Because the first ingredient is bound to wind up in some measure inside the jar of the second ingredient. Now, a bit of peanut butter in the jam is acceptable.

But, jam in the peanut butter is a major faux pas.

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Why being "truly Reformed" necessarily means a "zealous opposition" to Rome.

There is this quiz going around Facebook that asks "how Reformed are you?" After answering the ten or so questions, the quiz determined I was "truly Reformed." But if that means I must zealously oppose the Catholic Church---as the quiz told me a truly Reformed person does---then I refuse to be considered truly Reformed. I am not Catholic, and I have theological reasons for that, but I am not going to identify myself by what I am not. I do think that the Catholic Church errs on some theological points, but I am not going to make it an aim to constantly beleaguer the point. In fact, I make a point of looking for the good in the Catholic Church, and appropriating that.

And yes, I do call it the Catholic Church. I'm not in a position to judge, and so I will not call it the Catholic communion or employ some other evasive name for it. In my opinion, in the battle with the prince of this world, we'd do better to make friends than enemies amongst our own ranks.

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Publishers, I'm more than willing to pay an extra $2 so that my book is not characterized by any of the above.

(Rick, I can hear you agreeing emphatically.)

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